Winter Soldier #1 Review

Winter Soldier #1 Review

Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff: Two secret agents who are either making love or making death, so Americans like you and I can remain free. When they’re not engaging in hot, steamy, peak-human intercourse, they’re fighting Ex-KGB, sexy cyborgs. And let’s not forget my personal favorite…

GORILLA’S WITH MACHINE GUNS!!! (a great name for a band if I do say so myself!). Behind them all, pulling the strings, is a Soviet Mad Scientist with a haircut that rivals Hulk-a-mania; a beautiful man who resembles The Tall Man from the 80’s horror smash, Phantasm. How on Earth did Bucky Barnes, The Winter Soldier, fall into this dog-shit of a life? Remember when you cried and got snozz all over your girlfriend’s new Jonas Bros t-shirt when Bucky fell off the train to his death in the Captain America movie? Well, it turns out that Satan does call the shots after all; should you die an American.

Thus, you can stop crying. The Soviet’s Department X resurrected Bucky, brainwashed him, and had him beating Americans to a bloody pulp without any smoke breaks. Once Captain America got wind of this, he would not let the aggression stand. He rescued his friend and restored his memory immediately; however, he let Bucky keep the cool name the Soviet’s gave him, The Winter Soldier, because he always thought the name Bucky sounded a bit “Broke Back.”

You can finish reading the rest of the review here.